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Writer's pictureArpith Rohan

Help me, I think I am depressed!

Having been a Counselling Psychologist for more than thirty years, I have observed a rising trend in mental health disorders especially with the onset of COVID. My hope in writing this article is to help the reader recognize the various symptoms associated with mental health ailments and enable them to guide a person in distress in an effective manner, which would ideally culminate in seeking a mental health professional. Truth be told, many a life could have been saved if proactive intervention had been taken at the appropriate time.


While mental health ailments encompass a broad spectrum of conditions, in this article I will be honing in on a silent killer – Depression.


I must clarify what Depression really is though. We often mix depression with a low feeling, demotivation or sometimes grief. Medically, depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. It’s a Psychological disorder and definitely needs to be addressed.


The word ‘Persistent” is key here. When we experience grief due to the loss of a loved one or a relationship break, the emotion is usually temporary. Overtime we tend to associate with the good memories and move on. However, in depression the person affected experiences a crippling state of constant sadness.


So, what causes Depression? Could an event like death, divorce or the loss of employment trigger it? Research has found that when a person links traumatic events of their past and begin believing a bleak future as a consequence, they slowly spiral into depression. They keep pondering over a feeling of impending doom and are unable to envision a brighter future. In fact, certain individuals are more predisposed to depression than others. I have listed out some of these below:

  1. Personality traits: individuals who have a low sense of self-esteem, have trouble with their gender identity or don’t have a social circle for the fear of rejection, tend to be more prone to depression

  2. Environment: individuals who are in constant interaction with someone who is depressed tend to imbibe some of their characteristics. Furthermore, if they are exposed to violence, abuse or are under a yoke of oppression in any form, they are more pre-disposed to depression

  3. Bio chemical reactions: changes in hormones due to medication, physiological events (pregnancy, puberty, etc) may contribute to depression. Sometime deficiency of certain important nutrients like Vit D can also contribute to it

But there is hope. Nearly 70% of the people with depression can easily come out of it by seeking Professional help.

Broadly, mental health practitioners are of two categories:

  • Psychiatrists, who treat depression through medication i.e., antidepressants, etc.

  • Psychologists or therapists, who use techniques like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioural therapy (DBT), etc to help a person overcome their depression

Now, if you’re wondering what really happens in therapy, please continue to read on.

When you contact a therapist (in-person or online), a consultation session is usually booked where (in total confidentiality) your problem & situation is discussed. Your therapist will have you express your problem as well your perceptions on it while quizzing you about your sleep patterns, mood swings, appetite, thought patterns, etc. By the end of the consultation session, should you find that you are comfortable with your therapist, your therapist will schedule further therapy sessions based on their assessment of the problem.


While seeking professional help is the ideal approach to tackle depression, here are some steps you could proactively take to help combat it:

  • Get some exercise as it releases endorphins that elevate your mood

  • Abstain from alcohol, cigarettes or any substance use

  • Eat healthy and take care of your physical appearance as it boosts confidence and feeds positive thoughts to your subconscious

If, however, you are a parent and are worried that your child could possibly be suffering from depression, here are some symptoms to identify it:

  1. Your child had a lot of friends but now doesn’t want to talk to them

  2. He was once active in sports but now no longer wishes to play

  3. He/ She is home almost all the time, addicted to the phone / computer

  4. He was very focused, but now very lost and unable concentrate on anything

  5. School grades have suddenly come down

  6. Your child who was resilient in the past now tends to break down and cry frequently

  7. Lastly, if he mentions casually about “suicide”, this is a red flag. Never ignore it!!

While these scenarios do not confirm depression, they are indicative signs and I encourage you not to dismiss it. Instead, listen to the person who is suffering without bias and point them in the direction of a mental health practitioner.


To summarize, Good Mental Health is not a destination, but a process. Nobody can save you but yourself. And YOU are worth saving!! It’s a war not easily won, but if anything is worth winning, then this is it!

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